


Roy's Driver License

by SkyFallSlayer



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Bring tissues, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Other, Parental Maes Hughes, Sad Ending, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29837079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyFallSlayer/pseuds/SkyFallSlayer
Summary: Who says this song has to be about a former lover? What about a dear old friend? A look back at how Roy felt over the years as Hughes’ best friend."Driver License" by Olivia Rodrigo.
Relationships: Maes Hughes & Roy Mustang
Kudos: 2





	Roy's Driver License

**Author's Note:**

> Song: "Driver License" by Olivia Rodrigo.
> 
> When I first heard this song, I knew I had to do something with it. After listening it over and over again, it hit me. So this fic was born!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ( **BOLD** is the song lyrics)

**I got my driver's license last week  
Just like we always talked about**

He remembers barging into their dorm room, letter in hand. He remembers waving in front of his friend’s face, he was tired but also kind of alerted. He remembers telling the green eyed man that he passed his exam, and was officially going to an alchemist for the state.

He still remembers Hughes jumping out of his bed, and crushing him a bear-like hug. Hughes patted his back, and stared in awe as he showed off the silver pocket watch. He recalls his friend laughing in joy for him. 

He remembers it felt… nice. It was nice to feel appreciated after all the abuse he went through with his master. And he’ll never forget when Hughes said they’ll get drinks to celebrate. 

**'Cause you were so excited for me  
To finally drive up to your house**

They were going home. 

Finally. After the years of the war, they were going home. He still can see the way Hughes lit up on the train ride, talking about the woman he so desperately wanted to marry. He felt himself smile, happy to know that Hughes’ still had a spark left in him that wasn’t sucked out in horrendous war. He was so glad it was over. 

But why did he feel like it was a total lost?

**But today I drove through the suburbs  
Crying 'cause you weren't around  
And you're probably with that blonde girl  
Who always made me doubt**

They didn’t see each other for a while afterwards. Hughes had somehow been promoted to go to Central, months after marrying his girlfriend. He should be happy that he’s got a life, and a good career. But…

Why did he feel such envy? This job had taken all of their humanity, and now they’ve separated them? Job or no job, he still couldn’t get used to not having the boisterous man in the same room with him anymore.

Even the nice blonde woman he knew from childhood could never replace what Hughes could do in an empty, empty room.

**She's so much older than me  
She's everything I'm insecure about**

Hughes’ wife was perfect. She cooks, cleans, and is extremely kind. She listens and comforts when her husband has a nightmare. Unfortunately, he has none of those qualities.

He’s a bad person. He killed innocent people with an alchemy he promised he wouldn’t use to harm. He burned his Lieutenant’s back. He's done jobs he is not proud of. He’s done things that should be a crime, but have been swept under the rug. So when Hughes said he was a good person, it threw him through a loop.

What good has he done to deserve the title of a “good” person?

**Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs  
'Cause how could I ever love someone else?**

No one could fill the title of ‘Best Friend’, like Maes Hughes can.

Even after everyone he recruited to be his subordinates, and no matter how much time they spent together in and out of work, none of them could fill in the gap. He was stuck in the East, and his raven haired friend was stuck in Central. Why did they have to go separate ways?

Even with the sudden phone calls that he pretends to be annoyed with, it still wasn't the same as seeing him face to face. Hugging, while chugging a couple of Amestris’ famous ale.

**And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one  
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone  
Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me**

He still remembers after he came back to his temporary housing.

He still remembers the way Scar stood over that young subordinate of his, and almost killed him. He was almost too late. But worse of all…

It was his fault Edward was even here in the first place.

He recalls Hughes trying to calm him down, and say he did nothing wrong, saying he was still a good man. Hughes said something about doing the boy some good by offering him this job, but he was _wrong_. He gave this boy a job for suicide. What kind of “good” person would allow a child into the life of a military soldier? What the fuck was he thinking?

The rest of that night was fuzzy. 

The only thing he remembers clearly is that he kept trying to deny that he was good.

**'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street**

The house is now quiet. 

The house is so _quiet._

If only he had answered that phone sooner, maybe Hughes wouldn’t be six feet under ground. 

**And all my friends are tired  
Of hearing how much I miss you, but  
I kinda feel sorry for them  
'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah**

He’s known him for so long, and people keep trying to reassure me that’ll be okay in the end. But no. He wasn’t there to stop his best friend’s death, so why does his colleagues say it’ll be alright? It’s not alright! 

And from that day, he vowed that who ever pulled that trigger would pay. 

They would be burned into a crisp by his very two fingers that detonate the fatal snap.

**Today I drove through the suburbs  
And pictured I was driving home to you  
And I know we weren't perfect  
But I've never felt this way for no one, oh**

No more late night phone calls about his daughter.

No more surprising each other in their own offices.

No more going to bars and celebrating the most random things.

It was all gone. Hughes was gone. There was no way to replace a man like Maes Hughes was. Imperfect or not, no one could replace him.

**And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone**

He starts to think, what if Hughes had just stayed in the East instead of taking that job in Central? What if? Could he have been there to save him in time? Or would the outcome still be the same?

That question has been lingering in his mind for a _long_ time.

And will probably go unanswered until his very own death.

**I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me**

Still a good man? He couldn’t even keep his subordinates together. He couldn’t keep Fullmetal in one place, and Havoc not in a wheelchair.

It was all because he just wanted to find out who shot Hughes. 

It was all his fault. 

He was a bad man.

**'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street**

Yes. The house is still cold. Cold just as his grave. 

He can’t even look Gracia in the face, much less than the four year old girl peeking out from behind her legs.

Yes. It’s still quite chilly without you here. 

**Red lights, stop signs  
I still see your face in the white cars, front yards  
Can't drive past the places we used to go to  
'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)**

All over town he sees him. Ever since he was transferred to Central, all he sees is Maes Hughes everywhere he goes. From street corners, to little shops, he sees him _everywhere._

He starts to wonder if he got the chance to say “I love you” to the man he considered a brother.

Knowing him…

Probably not.

**Sidewalks we crossed  
I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing  
Over all the noise**

He memorized the laugh of his friend when Elicia did something funny, or the way he chuckled at the old childhood photos they shared with each other. 

He still remembers when they were laughing at the terrible robber they had in the backseat in cuffs. That was a job they got to do, and it was so much fun. 

Memories.

Memories can be taken for granted some time. 

**God, I'm so blue, know we're through  
But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)**

His blue like his uniform. He still has days he wouldn’t leave the house. Luckily he has other people to lift him off the ground, and keep him on a path towards his main goal. A goal that'll finish just for him.

A promise he would keep.

**I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one  
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone  
'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me  
'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street**

Yeah. He is going to become Fuhrer, and live his life. He’ll live his life to the fullest with the people he’s gotten to know over the years, and loved with all his heart. He’ll live his life with all he’s got.

Even if it isn’t with Hughes.

He’s sure he wouldn't mind.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
**Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street**  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Right?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry....


End file.
